Yes. My favourite theme. The pursuit of happiness.
So I can't honestly say the Diwali weekend was anything to be happy about. Just a few days before it, I got some not-so-good work related news that upset me. Once again I felt I was taken for a ride. And once again I was told, "It's nothing personal." But it always is, isn't it?
But I moved on. Quite strangely, post Diwali, I've had this wonderful sense of calm that's taken over. I can't really explain the feeling. But I know why. Because I cried. I cried like a wuss. I simply let the tears flow. The snotty-teary crying that kids do. What the heck? But I was in safe arms, enveloped in a warm hug, no questions asked, nothing said. I don't know how long I was held, how long I clung on. I needed to. And it felt so damn good! Once again, I was being selfish. And once again I got. What more can I say than thank you.
She sent me a message, "Yes darling, you are a lovely person. Worthy of love, capable of loving but can't express. It's not loss that I see in your eyes... it's just that there's no sparkle. You deserve to be happy. And no one can make you happy besides you."
How true, na? I'm making myself happy, one step at a time. And I owe it all to you. You remain my source of strength. My inspiration. My reason to smile. Thank you.