Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I haven't read a book in a while...

I haven't read a book in a while. By 'book' I mean one of those awe-inspiring, soul-searching, life-changing kinds. Or even one of those which is all about life, love and all that jazz. No wonder then I haven't had much to blog about either. I mean, how easy it is to read a book and draw parallels to your life... be the tragic hero of a story in which nothing goes right for you. There's always an instance you can look at and say, "Hey, that's just like my life." Perhaps.

As always, I seem to digress. Blame it on not writing for a while. Then again, I don't have much to write about these days. C'est la vie... and it's all for the best.

Over the last several months, I've grappled with the usual highs and lows I'm sure we all experience. No big deal. I've hurt people and I've been hurt too. But you know what? The best part was admitting I made a mistake or shrugging off someone else's and moving on. Where is the time to grudge? As I read on the sign board outside Mahim church just last week: To grudge is to let someone live rent free in your heart.

It's on these very pages I once wrote, "Leaving was easy... letting go so difficult." And that still holds, the letting go bit. I haven't let go completely, yet. The chance encounters with people from my past still matter, my heart does skip a beat. Sometimes. And I wait for that promised phone call or that "let's meet" SMS but know what? I'm not holding my breath.

In a month or so, it'll be 3 years to what seems like a lifetime. The inheritance of loss still overwhelms, but just. I'm letting go, each day at a time. People, places, the past. Aah, all my favourite themes... my faithful readers, forgive me, for I keep repeating myself. But then think of me as your favourite author you read only because you like / love their themes... samjha?

After 2011 that ended on a high note, 2012 is off to a slow start. But I'm not complaining. There's so much more to do, so many miles to go before I sleep... all in this lifetime.

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